The Lee and Rose Warner Coliseum was packed with un/lucky vibes on Feb. 9 as North Star Roller Derby rolled into bout No. 3 of the season. And with a theme like “Block on Wood,” what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing. Nothing went wrong. It was a great night. The beer was cold, the band was stellar, and Delta Delta Di gave us the gift of an inflated pink unicorn mascot. Close your eyes and let’s reminisce. (But, like, open your eyes again to keep reading this, otherwise you’ll have no idea what happened.)
Block on Wood’s First Head-to-Head: Banger Sisters vs. The Violent Femmes
I’ll cut to the chase: The Femmes took this one with a final score of 112–70. In the world of roller derby, that’s a pretty close game. All it takes is one or two fat power jams and boom, the Bangers could’ve taken over.
Jammer go-tos Katarina Hit and shE. coli put up 47 of the Bangers’ collective 70 points, with fresh legs from Henni Brawlins, Misa Ornery, and Haute Mess filling out the rest of the stack. We even saw rookie Judgment Bae don the star. The Femmes fielded their typical three-jammer rotation while blocking was left to their deep roster of veterans.
Judging by ye olde stats book, the Femmes had a roster only 12-deep (compared to the Bangers’ 14), and they earned three more penalties than the sisters in blue. So, how did the Femmes come out ahead? Maybe it was luck. Maybe it was skill. Or maybe it was just a couple power jams that the Femmes capitalized on. You decide.
Delta Delta Di Dominated the Kilmore Girls to Finish the Night
The final bout of the night pitted Delta Delta Di against the Kilmore Girls. The squad of camo and orange was looking for a fat win to set them up for a spot in the champs game, but it would seem they didn’t knock on enough wood to carry them to victory.
This game ended with Deltas defeating the Kilmores, 131–85.
Even though the Deltas collected an impressive 21 penalties in this bout, sitting in the box for nearly twice as much time as the Kilmores did, they pulled out the W. So, what gives?
The Kilmores counted on the blind ambition of rookie jammers, which paid off handsomely. NSRD newbies Sassberry and Lemony Kick-it hustled for a big 53 of their team’s 85-point total. (That’s two bout recaps in a row they have got a shoutout, so you know they’re puttin’ in work.)
The Deltas, on the other hand, were missing one of their leading scorers from bout one. SCAR Dolls transfer Short Stack and heavy-hitter Annaconda were ready to skate in and score big, though. Together, they scored 93 points. Grab their autograph next time you see them, or something.
Why didn’t the Kilmores win? Maybe it was because the game was paused a couple times due to injuries and folks got rattled. (Don’t worry, everyone is fine and in one piece.) Maybe it was because DDD super-vets VALUED PARTICIPANT and LumberJill just didn’t ever leave the track. Maybe they also spent their time lollygagging with the Bangers instead of knocking on wood. Again, you decide.
Saddle up for a Spicy Bout 3
With the season’s second un/lucky bout under our belt, let’s look at the standings:
Delta Delta Di: 2–0
Violent Femmes: 2–0
Kilmore Girls: 0–2
Banger Sisters: 0–2
Bout three pits the Deltas vs. the Femmes and the Bangers vs. the Kilmores, so it’s sure to be a spicy one. One of the winners has to lose, and one of the losers has to win. Which teams will come out on top?
Find out at the next bout:
Saturday, March 23 at 6 p.m.
Canterbury Expo Center
Or purchase them at the door this time. We are partnering with Backpack Project MN for our Season 13 Bout 4: Four Leaf Clobber! Bring items to donate to this amazing nonprofit in exchange for discounts on your ticket at the door. You can get $1 off your ticket cost for each item you bring, up to $3.